I'll bet you popped your cork BEFORE you got to the top of that muddy hill climb, eh???

Damn, Man!!! Nice Boner! Makes me want to go out and sit on my bike for a few HARD minutes... Heh, Heh!!!

A life-long friend of mine just stopped over for a beer and a topic of discussion arose about "how many damn vehicles I have owned." Well... Once a totaled, I didn't know whether to say: "DAMN! I'M PROUD OF THAT!!!" or say: " Grab another beer, Bud. I'm off to rehab tomorrow..." Let's just leave it as the total of ALL vehicles owned equals my current age. 20 of those were some model of Jeep!

ENOUGH OF THAT!!!

I purchased a 2006 Chevy Colorado 2wd pickup from an acquaintance who decided a sweet little BMW coupe was more his style. The truck was built 'pre-runner' style with a 4" suspension lift, 32" all-terrain tires on 15x8.5 rims, 5-SPEED MANUAL TRANNY!, tube front and rear bumpers, LED light bars to turn night into day, choice sound system, etc. TRUCK HAD TO BE MINE!!!

I drove the truck to my house, normally about a 45 minute drive, over freeways, urban and residential streets. Well... Sort of...

This truck was FUN!!! It spoke to me!!! It was begging, pleading... "You know you want to. You know you have to. GET ME STUCK!!!"

This was in the middle of our most recent "Winter From HELL" and there was snow, hail and rain on different parts of the drive. The last few miles before reaching the house, snow was sticking on the pavement. Heavy, wet snow... I could feel a bit of slippage in the light rear end of the truck and the tires slipping and spinning each time I would accelerate! Oh Yeah! That felt GOOD! My cock was becoming very pleased and was rising to the occasion!

Main road to the house was closed due to an accident. Police officer was 'allowing' trucks to go into the subdivision 'the back way'... Really?!?! The officer must have been new on the job or was not fully informed. That 'back way' was a mud pit, waiting to snare anything it could. HELL, YEAH!!! BACK WAY IT IS!!! My firm cock was becoming a full HARD ON now!

The dirt, turned mud, road to the subdivision was only about 1/2 mile long. It was pure fun! I was admiring two or three stuck vehicles along the way, (an older fwd Honda Civic sitting on the transaxle, a 2wd Nissan bogged to the axle, an older Chevy van that had slithered its way off the side of the two-track), each time making the shift from 2nd gear, to 1st and back again. Those all-terrain tires were too wide for this and my truck was spinning the rear tires with each shift of the gears. I had to reposition my cock in my jeans as it was stiff and needed a little attention. Then... IT HAPPENED!!!

Tires started spinning and my truck was sliding off to the side of the muddy two-track. Downshifted to 1st gear and... "Zzzzzrrr!" Now I'm STUCK!!! Reverse: "ZZzzzrr… ZZzzzzzrrr!" Fuckin' STUCK!!! That mud sucked me right down! Opened the door and watched the rear tire spinning helplessly in the sticky mud. Forward... "ZZZZzzzzz!" Reverse: "ZZZZZzzzzzz!" I WAS HAPPY! And... ALL BONED-UP!!! I was gonna deliver a hot load right there!!!

Now you've met BONE-DAWG and know how he got his name.

"Not Fuckin' Ideal" Well... Of Course It Is!!! "Fuck Me!" Well... That might off-load some of that pent up anxiety and ummm… STRESS!?!? DAMN! This one makes me HORNY!!!

The day began with heavy snowfall!!! It had rained for a day or two so only a couple inches of the white stuff was sticking to the pavement - for now. I was in High School and my schedule didn't work well with bus schedules. (Thank God!) Leaving my house, my Dad's instructions were: 1) Be Careful and don't drive like an idiot in this snow; and, 2) If it gets too bad or they call a snow day, leave your car in the parking lot and ride the bus home. My car was a mid-70s Chevy El Camino with a bad ass 350 V8... Not the best 'snow car'!!!

Sure enough, a SNOW DAY was called!!! No activities and no sports practices. And... No vehicles to be left in the parking lot due to snow removal. GREAT! There were no cell phones back then, so no way to call parents to see what their vision of my day would be. I was HAPPY! I was going to get my buddy Matt and we were going to spin some tires in my car. I could hardly contain myself (or my cock) at the thought!

We played in the snow, spinning donuts and finding unplowed roads to get my El Camino STUCK! My boner sprung into action and wouldn't be subdued from the first of several 'STUCKS' we got into. "Zzzzzz… ZZZzzzz!" I don't think my buddy noticed the BULGE in my jeans, as we were both wearing parkas.

Matt's parents lived on a country road and the end of their driveway meant the end of the pavement. The road was unplowed and my tires would expose MUD underneath the faint ruts left by previous vehicles. Seeing that mud and feeling the car slip and slide kept my cock nice and firm. I dropped Matt off and, HELL, YEAH!, got STUCK trying to back out of the driveway. "ZZzzzzz… ZZZzzzzz!" Rocking and spinning - Forward, Reverse, Forward... I feel the rear of my car sinking and hear the "Whap, Whap, Whap" of MUD splattering up in the wheel wells. "Uh, Oh... I'm STUCK!" I open the door to look at my mess and watch my tire spin in its snowy, muddy trap. My firm BONER had become a THROBBING HARD ON!!! Finally, after several minutes of rocking and spinning, I spun my way out of my STUCK!

The drive home (about 6 miles) was pretty fun, too! After savoring my earlier STUCK, and rubbing my RAGING HARD ON, each stoplight provided more pleasure as the tires fought for traction. "ZZzzzz… Zzzzz!" I delivered my young hot load in my pants as I was spinning my tires mercilessly trying to climb the last hill to get to our house! I finally made it home and had some underwear and jeans to wash and a shower to take!!!

@Thommo Usually my 'unexpected' stucks happen when rescuing another car or truck from the helpless (Joyous! for me) mess they get themselves into. Then there's those times I find my sweet stuck spot and have a little too much fun... Put the t-case in 4-whatever and "Uh-Oh! (not really) I'M STUCK!!!

I have a reputation for getting stuck. OKAY! I'm feeling better now. I said it. I have acquired a talent for breaking the news to my passenger in a very confident, but humble tone. "Uh, Oh... I think we're stuck."

NICE!!! Unexpected stucks are the BEST! Reverse... zzzzz! Forward… zzzzz! Uh, Oh. I'm STUCK!!!

That's what I'm talkin' about! Smooth, slick mud to clog up the tread and trap those tires! Spinning and rocking and... NOPE! STUCK!!! Once I got out, I would have two messes to clean. Mud and...

@Thommo That's what I'm talkin' 'bout, man! Get those tires slicked up and spun up. Don't use the third stick (or 'knob', nowadays) until your up to that axle! A GOOD, HARD TIME!!!

Okay, guys... I finally found the video I think is one of the best showing what it's like STUCK in the Black Rock Playa. Been there. Done that! Fun as Hell if you have lots of unstuck equipment, at least one more capable vehicle with you and a friend in the co-pilot's seat that enjoys a good stuck as much as you. ENJOY!!! YouTube: Tacoma Crawl Control Owned by Playa Mud

@Thommo Hey, man, it wasn't the worst day I've ever had. Got a new fishing and four-wheeling (getting stuck!) buddy out of the deal. Unfortunately, we live about 300 miles from each other. HARD AS A ROCK! Made the dig out a little uncomfortable, if ya know what I mean! The truck I was driving Saturday is my Chevy Colorado ZR2. BONUS BONER when you lock both diffs and dig 'er right down, hearin' those tires BEG for traction... Let's chat!

@sirstuck I'll have to check out Sven's vids. There are dry, and not-so-dry, lakebeds all throughout Nevada. Slippery, sticky mud, for sure! I've been stuck in situations where the vehicle will sit and spin all four at idle. Can't go forward; can't go backward. Sometimes you can turn the steering wheel right to left and slide 'er sideways, but... NOPE! You're not going nowhere forward or reverse. Search "Stuck in Black Rock playa mud" for some good dry lake stucks.

@Thommo Wish I had the GoPro with me. Impromptu, unexpected stucks are the best. All started with that familiar sound of a couple engine revs, a couple pauses (when the driver realizes he's FUCKED!), a few more revs (to make sure he's stuck), and... There it is!!! Of course you've got to go see the action and maybe, if yer lucky, get your truck in the same situation while rendering 'help'... Maybe even worse!!! Dude that got stuck first was obviously enjoying his predicament and enjoyed watching me get sunk to the axles even more! Yeah, he could qualify as a specimen! The guys in the other truck were unimpressed and ended up having to have "Mike" and I pull them out after they slid into a ditch...

@sirstuck Reservoir in Northern Nevada. Unexpected STUCK! Perfect driving in, short rainstorm, slicked-up grass and BAM! No traction and tires digging down into thick, black slick mud. FUN TIME!

All mine are 4x4. Just means I can get STUCK HARDER and in worse places. Thommo got it right! Get 'er good and stuck in 2wd then get it out with 4x4. Had a fun WET GRASS and SLICK MUD STUCK after fishing yesterday. Three trucks (all 4x4) stuck trying to pull each other out. Seems like there are lots of other GUYS out there that have a Battle with the BULGE when they're STUCK!!!