Woooooow
How To Get STuck
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Getting Stuck
Getting stuck isn’t too difficult if you know what you are doing. It depends on the ground. The best advice is to walk it first. Then you can find whether it is hard or soft, just slippery or seriously waterlogged. (With water, general advice is not to go in beyond the tops of a pair of knee boots unless you are modified and waterproofed).
If the ground is just slippery, or has a thin coating of mud, it is possible to enjoy some spinning, so long as you have a route out down-hill (or someone to give you a tow). Hours of fun can be had trying (‘hard’ but not very seriously) to get up a slippery muddy slope.
To keep going in slippery conditions, especially ice and snow, it needs a ‘velvet foot’ on the throttle: but to get a bit wheel-spin the opposite is the case. Just be a bit careless with your boot on the clutch at a critical point, so that momentum is briefly lost, then hit the throttle: hey presto ! She’s spinning ! You can rock it and rev it on the clutch and throttle until you are - um - satisfied. Clutch-throttle (spin): clutch-throttle (spin): clutch-throttle (spin spin spin). You get that throbbing sensation coming up to your groin through the seat, and the engine is moaning for release; and that’s not all that’s demanding attention.
If you really want to get seriously bogged down, choose a field where the soil has been disturbed and then there’s been lots of rain: like a potato or root field, perhaps where the field border (headland) has been left uncropped. Either you can launch into it and then just sit there spinning, or you can nudge in, perhaps in reverse, see how for you can get, then try to get out. That’s when the excitement gets to its height. You need to have help on hand. Once you get truly bogged down no amount of rocking and revving will help; in fact it’ll probably get you in deeper until you are down to the axles. You’re not going anywhere. YOU’RE STUCK. YOU’RE FUCKIN’ S-T-U-C-K. You might just as well sit there and enjoy it until assistance arrives.
